Monday, May 7, 2007

Frustration Card Game 13 Steps

Self stumbling

MB writes:
dr.spocchia friendly,
are tormented by doubt and I hope that terrible in his infinite wisdom can take a new look on this unfortunate affair will go just now to tell just now.
years ago I had a relationship with a guy who seemed to be the man of my life: good friends for years, then engaged for 4, for a while 'living together also, so many threads but never a fight, perfect sexual understanding, various adorable parentame ("laws" included). asked me to marry him and I only answer I ran away with another man, crazy, very aware of making a crap. a few months later I learn that he has a new relationship and I retreat in good order, surrendered before the evidence that even if he was my great desire to go back to him sad to repair the badly (and was) I had lost the 'moment (at least for me and my principles of which he'll break free - maybe). years have passed since that day and looking back still hurts. He now lives with the chick and their relationship seems channeled on a binary basis.
how I know? all this time (5 years) we felt and often encountered. Oh God, "frequently" is a buzzword, we say that we felt sms for various birthdays / holidays, and we saw three or four times to eat together, since we parted without rancor.
now, after so long, he starts sending me messages when I wrote that longing for us, insists on seeing me more often and begins to wonder (and wonder) why did our story is over, leaving me to understand that it is greatly disappointed. in recent months we have seen more often than we've ever done in the last five years (and no, there was never even a kiss), and I do not understand, and I'm confused. I'm bad every time I see him every time I think about it, torn between hope that we can get back together and the clear knowledge that he will not let anything, even if only out of habit. I would not say easy game, given the premises, but an attempt to seduce him and make him come back to me I feel it should be done, I am tempted, but I can not. out of fear? maybe. I reply that I do
first of all honesty: I seem to deceive him and cause him to make a choice not having clear ideas, which in the long course, I will backfire.
sooner or later find the courage to face it and ask questions to eye, but in the meantime I ask her opinion.

the Manual of Good Relations fucked, page 63, states:

[...] to that point ( it comes to the decision to make a leap forward: cohabitation / marriage / production children / purchase of an electric ice cream maker, NDDS) , after years of effort, commitment, sacrifice and renunciation, even rewarded with an intense and rewarding relationship, the panic will take hold of you encouraging you to make one or more of the following crap:
- buy a bike
flashy and expensive - make a piercing or a tattoo around his penis to the vagina
- get drunk and copulate with strangers
- vote for Clemente Mastella
- call one or more former partners to see how the situation
-
start taking drugs - drugs
stop - going on a trip to Morocco to discover yourself (and during the holiday to one or more of the previous crap).

all these are just a skin rash of a much deeper malaise, often unconscious. instead of doing the only right thing, that is to stop and reflect, discuss their concerns with trusted friends, putting on the back from partner dish ideas and feelings, to revise or delay projects or gettarcisi headlong following a wonderful outlet of unconsciousness, is looking for a way out irrational and potentially harmful.

points in each list has a much stronger impact on the report. depends on countless factors, obviously who you are and who the partners. he or she could accept a small header post adolescent or a change limited to a narrow field of your being, and perhaps more difficult to forgive if you could open an amateur video porn site where the protagonists are you, the entire national rugby, especially with a Great Dane and a pole of the bus.

but what are the reasons for these headers? simplifying, the terror of being wrong, to take a step too far, not being ready, being in prison. everyone responds to this scents anxiety in its own way: there are those who do the shit just to prove to himself that he is still quite young, free, independent and daring to do it, there are those who try to build a possible escape route , there are those who unconsciously seeks to destroy their relationship, some people will not sustain the pressure, takes the ball and runs away.

is a wonderful and terrible symmetry in the tale of mb
first is that she, perhaps too quickly submerged by a cascade of responsibility incoming clings to the first train that seems different, fascinating and daring, the exact opposite of stability that was being built. the header, however, becomes a real escape and the previous report can not but collapse.
today, years later, is that he is building something with someone else. I have a bet each (about 37 €) that are located near an important crossroads, point to cohabitation or marriage. then he call one (one?) his ex, renews friendly contacts, meets her. the implication is unavoidable: for this he needs, to compare the new with the old, to hypothesize, to explore the opportunities. and last but not least, to gratify the checking if his ego is still there.
in truth there is also a possibility that is completely legitimate aspiration: permanently close a wound that, dear mb, you're the one to open the door. give themselves more safely without regret. throw in his adventure without a doubt that he chose the wrong woman.

which of these, I can not know.
MA, MB, you also have the scars. seeks to ensure that your sense of guilt against him and of yourself will not prevail: it is important not to repeat the same or symmetrical, the same shit (but invent new crap every day). She writes

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